Using Encouragement Effectively: My article also has positive Implications for Coaching Children with Learning, ADD / ADHD and Behaviour challenges.
Children and parents benefit from understanding about their strengths and that ADD is better viewed as a DIFFERENCE in how their child's brain works and processes information and ADD should not be interpretted as a DEFICIT .
How we connect with others has unimagined significance in both our personal , family and business lives. Both entrepreneurs and Parents can find out WHY using Encouragement effectively can enrich your social aptitude, empathy and enhance coaching skills in a variety of situations !!
***Original Copyrighted Article
** Written and published Jun 18, 2010 by Dr. Brenda E. Abbey
In my earlier published article on BIZNIK site , I wrote about the psychological difference between Praise and Encouragement. The effective use of Encouragement, whether at the workplace or in your home, can be of great assistance in creating an environment where motivation and positive relationships can flourish. Encouragement may be more effective and more motivating than praise and is an invaluable tool in your business or personal motivational repertoires. Encouragement can be instrumental in building self esteem, fostering cooperation, celebrating unique skills and abilities and assisting struggling coworkers through difficult or challenging times.
How can Encouragement affect our brain?
In the emerging field of social neuroscience, there are continued findings and insights into our interpersonal world and an understanding of these can enrich our business and personal lives. Neuroscience has discovered that we are wired to connect by our brain’s very design and we are drawn into a brain-to- brain link up whenever we interact with another person. The pathways of our social brain are sensitive not only to signals emerging from within us, but also to the world at large. Through a process called “neuroplasticity”, our social interactions play a role in reshaping our brain since repeated experiences sculpt the size, shape and number of neurons and their synaptic connections. This new body of psychological research reveals that our relationships have a subtle yet powerful impact on us. By driving our brain into a given register, our key personal and work relationships (whether being emotionally nourished or chronically hurt and angered) can gradually mold and refashion the structure of our brain. In our lives and careers, many of us have been blessed with some generous mentors and we have not only learned from their wisdom but also from their manner of interaction and how that impacted our feelings. By reflecting on the work environment at the Children’s Treatment Setting, I realized that I learned the most about Encouragement by watching and attempting to replicate my mentor’s interpersonal skills.
What are some ingredients of Effective Encouragement?
There should be a solid, observable, and realistic reason for the comment and it needs to be specific to the behaviour that reflects the accomplishment or effort. When you give an encouraging comment, it should be sincere since our social radar can detect “phony” and this can cause the recipient to feel minimized or patronized. As Simon Sinek shared in his explanation of his Golden Circle idea and the importance of WHY in business, we think from the inside out and our Limbic brain is responsible for Trust by controlling our decision making. If the compliments are continually offered without being specific, the recipient can become desensitized so even well-earned compliments become meaningless.
The effectiveness of Encouragement is enhanced by the ability to express Interest, Gratitude and Enthusiasm. When I tried to analyze why I had positive perceptions of my interactions with my mentor at the Treatment Setting, I came to understand that he provided me with a lot of Encouragement. But perhaps most important, this person always showed an interest in my life. He consistently demonstrated his interest in me as a person, always beginning every call or interaction by inquiring about some aspect of my life or activities.
Once I recognized the power of Interest, I used this strategy more often to build and maintain my relationships with colleagues, students’ parents and students. People love talking about themselves. As a Special Educator, I realized that I could use interest to foster a difficult child’s motivation and build relationships. I believe that this same expression of genuine and sincere interest is applicable to any business or personal setting as well. You may be surprised how much of a positive impact it has.
By expressing his sincere gratitude to me about something specific that I had done, my mentor articulated how my actions had helped his workload and others at the Treatment Setting.
In his capacity as Executive Director of the Treatment Setting, my mentor often said “Enthusiasm is contagious and so is the lack of it”. He strongly believed that the special education teacher, as well as the childcare counselors in each treatment classroom set the tone and climate in that room. If the professionals were enthusiastic, lively and animated, then the students with emotional and severe behaviour needs were more likely to respond and also mirror these attitudes. If you reflect for a moment upon the most memorable coaches from your own school career, you will probably remember that they were enthusiastic about their subject area, their jobs and their students. Enthusiasm affects us and it infects us. The Limbic brain reads body language and Penn State professor Stanley Du Belle’s research study identified traits and observable behaviours that earned teachers a description of “enthusiastic” from a group of students. The research showed that body language contributed significantly to the perception of Enthusiasm and examples included rich vocabularies with extensive use of adjectives, a high degree of energy, exuberance, frequent demonstrative gestures, and animated vocal delivery.
While I am not advocating that all of us become interested, grateful cheerleaders in front of our business colleagues, I believe that there is merit in making a concerted effort to incorporate some of these encouraging traits into our daily style of interaction in our work environment.
Written by Dr. Brenda E. Abbey ©
Children and parents benefit from understanding about their strengths and that ADD is better viewed as a DIFFERENCE in how their child's brain works and processes information and ADD should not be interpretted as a DEFICIT .
How we connect with others has unimagined significance in both our personal , family and business lives. Both entrepreneurs and Parents can find out WHY using Encouragement effectively can enrich your social aptitude, empathy and enhance coaching skills in a variety of situations !!
***Original Copyrighted Article
** Written and published Jun 18, 2010 by Dr. Brenda E. Abbey
In my earlier published article on BIZNIK site , I wrote about the psychological difference between Praise and Encouragement. The effective use of Encouragement, whether at the workplace or in your home, can be of great assistance in creating an environment where motivation and positive relationships can flourish. Encouragement may be more effective and more motivating than praise and is an invaluable tool in your business or personal motivational repertoires. Encouragement can be instrumental in building self esteem, fostering cooperation, celebrating unique skills and abilities and assisting struggling coworkers through difficult or challenging times.
How can Encouragement affect our brain?
In the emerging field of social neuroscience, there are continued findings and insights into our interpersonal world and an understanding of these can enrich our business and personal lives. Neuroscience has discovered that we are wired to connect by our brain’s very design and we are drawn into a brain-to- brain link up whenever we interact with another person. The pathways of our social brain are sensitive not only to signals emerging from within us, but also to the world at large. Through a process called “neuroplasticity”, our social interactions play a role in reshaping our brain since repeated experiences sculpt the size, shape and number of neurons and their synaptic connections. This new body of psychological research reveals that our relationships have a subtle yet powerful impact on us. By driving our brain into a given register, our key personal and work relationships (whether being emotionally nourished or chronically hurt and angered) can gradually mold and refashion the structure of our brain. In our lives and careers, many of us have been blessed with some generous mentors and we have not only learned from their wisdom but also from their manner of interaction and how that impacted our feelings. By reflecting on the work environment at the Children’s Treatment Setting, I realized that I learned the most about Encouragement by watching and attempting to replicate my mentor’s interpersonal skills.
What are some ingredients of Effective Encouragement?
There should be a solid, observable, and realistic reason for the comment and it needs to be specific to the behaviour that reflects the accomplishment or effort. When you give an encouraging comment, it should be sincere since our social radar can detect “phony” and this can cause the recipient to feel minimized or patronized. As Simon Sinek shared in his explanation of his Golden Circle idea and the importance of WHY in business, we think from the inside out and our Limbic brain is responsible for Trust by controlling our decision making. If the compliments are continually offered without being specific, the recipient can become desensitized so even well-earned compliments become meaningless.
The effectiveness of Encouragement is enhanced by the ability to express Interest, Gratitude and Enthusiasm. When I tried to analyze why I had positive perceptions of my interactions with my mentor at the Treatment Setting, I came to understand that he provided me with a lot of Encouragement. But perhaps most important, this person always showed an interest in my life. He consistently demonstrated his interest in me as a person, always beginning every call or interaction by inquiring about some aspect of my life or activities.
Once I recognized the power of Interest, I used this strategy more often to build and maintain my relationships with colleagues, students’ parents and students. People love talking about themselves. As a Special Educator, I realized that I could use interest to foster a difficult child’s motivation and build relationships. I believe that this same expression of genuine and sincere interest is applicable to any business or personal setting as well. You may be surprised how much of a positive impact it has.
By expressing his sincere gratitude to me about something specific that I had done, my mentor articulated how my actions had helped his workload and others at the Treatment Setting.
In his capacity as Executive Director of the Treatment Setting, my mentor often said “Enthusiasm is contagious and so is the lack of it”. He strongly believed that the special education teacher, as well as the childcare counselors in each treatment classroom set the tone and climate in that room. If the professionals were enthusiastic, lively and animated, then the students with emotional and severe behaviour needs were more likely to respond and also mirror these attitudes. If you reflect for a moment upon the most memorable coaches from your own school career, you will probably remember that they were enthusiastic about their subject area, their jobs and their students. Enthusiasm affects us and it infects us. The Limbic brain reads body language and Penn State professor Stanley Du Belle’s research study identified traits and observable behaviours that earned teachers a description of “enthusiastic” from a group of students. The research showed that body language contributed significantly to the perception of Enthusiasm and examples included rich vocabularies with extensive use of adjectives, a high degree of energy, exuberance, frequent demonstrative gestures, and animated vocal delivery.
While I am not advocating that all of us become interested, grateful cheerleaders in front of our business colleagues, I believe that there is merit in making a concerted effort to incorporate some of these encouraging traits into our daily style of interaction in our work environment.
Written by Dr. Brenda E. Abbey ©
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